im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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