im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
