I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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