We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
