Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
