i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
