We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
