in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
