shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
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