I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
two words...techno handjob
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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