Betty ford says i'm here all night
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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