I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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