I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
