I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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