how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize