Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
