my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Barsexuality is the new black.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
