Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
