Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
