he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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