I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
