Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
