weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
