It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
