i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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