i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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