I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
