Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
the liver wants what the liver wants
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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