chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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