There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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