Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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