Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
