wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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