Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
