You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
