Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
