I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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