forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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