Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Someone signed my nipple.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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