I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
