Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You can't motorboat a personality
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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