she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
