maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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