i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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