Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
