We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This is the high leading the old right now
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
