What a fucking waste of an outfit
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
