Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
