You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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