I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
worst night to have a conscience
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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